The Friend Dynamic

Watching a movie with friends is a totally unique experience. It's multi-layered and full of surprises. I recently had several opportunities to watch some classic and contemporary films with friends. To Catch a Thief, North by Northwest, A Girl Cut in Two, Baby Mama, among others. In fact the picture on the left is of Kevin, H. and Lisa who joined me to go see Metropolis recently (see my previous post). If I had watched any of these films by myself, at home, (which I have), I would only remember the story and not the experience. But it's a whole other story when I watch movies with friends.

I sat down and thought about how friends shape the movie-watching experience. I decided in order to understand it, I had to somehow make sense of it. So I broke the basic experience into three sections. Starting with pre-show bonding, followed by communal viewing and ending with post-show bonding. All three phases are crucial to provide the ultimate experience.

Pre-show bonding is taken for granted by many. In fact, it irks me when people are late (including myself, which is often the case) and pre-show bonding is either reduced to a couple minutes of rushed conversation or none at all. This is the time before the movie where you share your excitement for what's up ahead. If it's a new movie, you talk about what you've heard about the film, the director or its actors or even reviews and friend's recommendations. If it's a movie you've seen before, you share with others your last experience watching it and what interesting tidbits you have to offer. All of this increases the anticipation of watching the film and adds to a heightened sense of enjoyment. 15-20 minutes of pre-show bonding is ideal.

Communal viewing is probably the most elusive and indescribable of the three phases, although I'll try my best to talk about what I have a grasp on. The most obvious thing is laughter. When someone laughs, I find myself laughing too. Sometimes it's a joke that I would find funny so I share in the laughter. Or its just a serious scene that ended up being silly. Or it's not funny at all, but laughter is a way to react physically to it. Others laughter makes me ultra-aware of what just happened on screen. I get to thinking, why did he or she find that interesting? Then, more often than not, I'm the only one laughing, because I get something others don't. Not because I'm super-intelligent, but just because I'm weird. Maybe they're wondering why I'm laughing too?

Post-show bonding is probably the most satisfying. It's a few minutes of talk during the credits then more talk either right outside the theater or at some bar or coffeehouse. If you're lucky and watch a film at someone's home, post-show bonding can last for a good amount of time, without the worry of having to catch the bus or getting out of the cold. During post-show bonding, you get to find out what others thought of the film. What they enjoyed, their reservations or frustrations or what it reminded them of. Some of the mystery behind those random bouts of laughter slips away. People thank whoever organized the outing and promises are made to have similar outings in the future. 20-30 minutes of post-show bonding should be required.

I'm sure I'm missing many key elements to this experience, but I wanted to make sure I at least got some thoughts in writing before it escaped me. Because as nice as it is to snuggle up at home and watch a good movie, it's even better when you are surrounded by good friends.

Ernie: The Autobiography

Ernie: The Autobiography
by Ernest Borgnine
9780806529417
$24.95
Citadel Press
August 2008

My favorite quote: "I've gone from a working stiff who didn't want to set the world on fire, who just wanted to keep his nuts warm, to where I am."

I just finished reading Ernie's autobiography and gee was it swell! Written in a conversational style, you feel like Ernie is sitting right down next to you telling you in person the stories of his life and his movies. He's upbeat all the way through. Some have criticized this as being a major flaw in the book, but I think it just makes it more authentic. Ernie's a happy-go-lucky Italian guy who's led a long and interesting life and why wouldn't the writing reflect that? Why do biographies and autobiographies always have to be down and dirty tell-alls? Grab a nice hot beverage and snuggle up to a book that will keep you in high spirits as you take a journey through the life of one extraordinary hard-working and upbeat actor!

I only have one critique to make. And it's not about the book or its author (or ghost writer if there is one). It's a critique about myself. I haven't watched enough Ernest Borgnine films!!! I would have enjoyed the book more so if I had been more familiar with his films. The book is laid out with a unique structure. The first few chapters are about his childhood and his family. Once you get into the chapters about his film career, they are sections within each of the chapters. Each section is dedicated to one of his films and it goes through many of them. Ernie will chat to you about his unique experience with each film and the directors and actors he works with. He doesn't bad mouth anybody. If anything, he feels sorry for the folks he didn't like or he watched fall. So die-hard Ernest Borgnine fans (or at least those people who have seen enough of his films), this book was written for you!

You get such lines like "I had a helluva time", "Believe me, I'm not complaining", "you bet your life!" He won my heart when he said that he loved Bob Mitchum and lended his support to get Mitchum an honorary Oscar before he passed away. It didn't end up happening, but the fact that Ernie was rooting for him won me over. I heart Ernie. Ernie even addresses his ex-wife Ethel Merman's biography, which had a chapter in it called "Ernest Borgnine" followed by a blank page. He said "at least she didn't say anything bad about me".

This is not your average biography. This is probably the closest you'll get to the real thing. So go out and buy a copy! Now!!!

UPDATE ~ Work: My Classic Film Nest

My recent post about my work area was quite popular and I wanted to follow it up with a few things:

1) Hurricane Kyle must not have been a classic film fanatic, because due to all the rain and an unfortunate leak above my desk, my images of Marilyn Monroe and Spencer Tracy with Katharine Hepburn were destroyed due to water damage. It's a shame. Maybe I need laminated photographs?

2) Jonas of Lokomotivet started a new international blog called All Talking! All Singing! All Dancing!. His first post is a photograph of his work desk and a description of all the classic images posted. He has a poster of Hollywood Revue of 1929!!! Check it out. And maybe you'll notice which blog just happens to be displayed on his computer monitor? Hmmm.....

3) At my work, we hosted an author event that had a collegiate theme. Organizers posted huge college-style posters including the standards like John Belushi/Animal House, Led Zeppelin and the Tournée du Chat Noir. There was a humongous, bright pink Audrey Hepburn - Breakfast at Tiffany's poster too! Once the event was over, the Hepburn poster quickly disappeared. My co-worker Frank immediately suspected me. However, I was absolutely NOT the culprit since I already have two obligatory Audrey Hepburn photos (one at work and one at home) and that poster was so big it would be an eyesore in my apartment. I'm suspicious that a resident Louise Brooks fan took it. She has a penchant for oversized posters and old film stars. The investigation is ongoing.

4) Bloggers - please feel free to post images of your work area on your respective blogs, like Jonas did! Give me a heads up when you do. Guest Bloggers - if you are blogless and want to participate, please e-mail me a contribution and I can post it here. Consider youserlves tagged!